Self-help Group Awareness Month on January, 2023: help Group Awareness Month - how to deal with lonlyness?
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Hi.. i'm sorry you're struggling with this. It must be difficult for you, considering it seems as if you don't have a very good sense of self-value. Believe me,, you ARE VALUABLE and a unique human being.
If you take a look around, at 16, kids are just learning about social behavior and how to interact with others as young adults. this is in preparation for adulthood, and notice that most of these kids are socially retarded. As we grow into adults, we are more accepting of others, place value on their character and what they have to offer as a friend and human being, not what they look like or the clothes they wear. It's true.
I understand feeling lonely and desiring human contact too. I am an adult woman so i have more freedom to do something about it, because i am not restricted to a small group of people my own age as you are in your school situation. but you do deserve to make new friends.
I would suggest a couple of things -- if your parents can afford to send you to a karate class, it will benefit you greatly. Not immediately but over a matter of months -- Karate is a practice which is highly disciplined and it helps us with self-confidence, personal awareness. it is a wondeful tool for those of us who struggle with anxiety and low self-esteem. Plus it might be a good place to form new friendships as time goes by!
Also there are many forums and self-help websites out there for teens. I'd suggest doing some searches. Examples might be Self Esteem For Teens, Self-Esteem Self-Help. Coping with Anxiety or Anxiety Self-Help. Lots of great information out there. You have to remember that in order to change things in your life you're going to have to do the work it takes toward these positive changes. This means putting what you read into practice daily. Start out with a few things, and work your way forward. It took you a matter of years to get to this anxious point in your life, and it's going to take a bit of time to recover. Self-improvement needs to be a life-long practice. I wish i'd have started long long ago, but i have been working on self-awareness and self-improvement for several years now.
Two other critical things to look into online are Loving Yourself and Self-Compassion. Extremely important!!
I think that, once you start feeling better about YOU, you are going to project this and others will be more readiy drawn to you.
If you think you're unattractive (and i bet you are not), do something to change things a bit, such as get a new hair cut, start working out four or five times a week. Go hiking or swimming. You'll feel healthier!!
Im 14 5,5 and weight a little over 200lbs whats the best way to lose weight?
Congrats on wanting to change things so that you can live a healthier life. Personally I don't believe in "diets" per se, but rather adopting a healthy way of living, exercising, and eating. It has been shown that many diets don't work b/c they typically want you to restrict too much, eliminate certain essential nutrients or food groups, etc., which can set you up to binge later. The diet industry is a multibillion dollar industry for a reason - they typically work temporarily, but most peopl ecan't keep them up & then go searching for the next diet.
The main things that are necessary to lose weight are the following:
1) Exercise - balance/alternate cardiovascular exercise with strength training for the best benefits. Figure out what types of cardiovascular exercise you like to do and vary that too (if you're the type of person who gets bored easily). If you have medical problems and other health issues, it would be wise to consult with your doctor before beginning any extensive workouts. Great that you have a home gym!
2) Don't skip meals - it is much better to eat several smaller meals throughout the day than to only eat one meal a day. Many people think that skipping meals will help them to lose weight, but this actually slows down your metabolism. It is also not a good idea to eat in front of the TV, b/c it's hard to focus on the act of eating and easy to overeat that way.
3) Decrease caloric intake &/or substituting healthier foods (for unhealthy choices) - a nutrtionist would be helpful here.
4) If you think you may be eating out of boredom or emotional reasons (i.e., when you get angry, sad, hurt, or lonely), then it would be good to figure out that relationship. You can do this by seeing a therapist, reading self-help books, and/or going to a support group such as Overeaters Anonymous (OA). I'm not saying that you have an eating disorder and OA is not for everyone, but OA can be very helpful to let you know you are not alone, and sometimes listening/talking to others will help you figure out helpful solutions based on what has worked for other people who are working on similar issues. You will have to figure out what works best for you here.
You did not mention exactly how much or what kinds of foods you are currently eating or exercising, but I would strongly recommend that you see a nutritionist. When I had a weight issue due to a medical problem, I went to a professional nutritionist, and it helped tremendously. They will do a thorough assessment asking about medical and emotional issues as well. A nutritionist probably have you list what you are currently eating on a daily basis, assess your activity level, and then be able to recommend suggestions to help you meet your goals in a healthy way. Please be very careful about only getting your information online, b/c there is a lot of information posted online that isn't accurate. There is a lot of professional & accurate information in bookstores that you can look at for free as well.
5) Take care of yourself by trying to get good sleep - it may be hard when you're in school, but depriving yourself of sleep is also bad for your metabolism, mood, concentration, your body's ability to heal & grow, etc. There are lots of studies done on this. Also, if you are still growing (taller), then you need to be fueling your body so that it grows strong and healthy. Diets can sabotage the body's normal growth process and can potentially lead to immune system problems or other nutrtional deficiencies.
Best wishes, and hang in there - awareness is the first step & becoming willing to do the hard work comes next...it can only get better from here! :)
Mental health care in uk?
hi. the person who answered, and described themselves as a counsellor, most likely isn't due to their total lack of knowledge about the mental health system. there is no such thing as "self sectioning". being sectioned is a term used to describe being detained under the mental health act.
it is not possible for you to admit yourself to a psychiatric hospital in the UK. mental health care is provided in the community by community mental health teams either in outpatient clinics or in a person's own home. conditions such as depression and anxiety are usually diagnosed and treated by the person's GP.
a GP can prescribe medication, 'books on prescription' where you borrow a 'prescribed' self help book (usually from the library) or they can refer the patient for an assessment with a psychiatric nurse who visits the surgery. the nurse assesses patients and may refer them on to a group cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), individual CBT with a counsellor or for other necessary treatment.
it is highly unlikely for someone to be admitted to a psychiatric ward with anxiety however severe. nearly all patients treated in hospital are sectioned as they are deemed to be a possible danger to themselves or others. this includes people who have a lack of self awareness because they are mentally unwell and do not eat and take care of themselves; they are not all violent.
hospital is not a therapeutic place for someone with anxiety. it is a place for very sick people to get well in a safe place. they can be supervised and medicated and contained until they are well enough to return home. it is not a calm relaxing place to be, the staff are too busy to give you one to one time and some patients can become agitated and confrontational.
there is no provision for therapy on an acute psychiatric ward as stays are usually short. in the past when i've been ill enough to be sectioned i have broken furniture, tried to put chairs through windows and threatened to kill staff members. i must have scared other patients but was unaware at the time.
GPs cannot admit patients into a psychiatric ward themselves. where i live, and i think this is typical, even the community mental health team can't. the team who all admissions have to go through are the crisis resolution and home treatment team. (i am not referring to CAMHS admissions here).
if a peron is in crisis they can be referred to the crisis team who can visit the person at home or phone regularly to help them get through the difficult time. if a person is sick enough to need admitting to hospital then they may be cared for by the home treatment team. the team are able to offer the same level of care as a hospital can in the patient's home. this can prevent a patient having to be sectioned and home life being disrupted.
being in familiar surroundings and keeping life as normal as possible is proven to make recovery quicker than hospitalisation. last time i became unwell and made a almost successful suicide attempt i was under the home treatment team. i felt awful and thought it wasn't working but i improved faster than if i had been admitted. life gets complicated if you're sectioned and away from home for months.
i have spent over 5 years of my life in total as an inpatient. 10 years ago you would have been admitted for anxiety and been on a ward with a lot of other voluntary patients. back then we would have fun together as we improved and if the psychiatrist tried to discharge you you could just say you weren't ready and spend a few mores weeks in hospital. few people got better though and were in and out for years slowly getting less and less self sufficient.
the system had to change but it's left a gap where there is little help for people with "mild" mental health problems such as anxiety. i know it is life destroying but as you aren't psychotic or dangerous you go unnoticed. please get what help you can from your GP and ask about local groups and day centres run by mental health charities such as Mind and Rethink. do what you can to avoid staying home all day, get dressed each morning and keep a good sleep and meal time routine.
i would never have recovered if it had not been for Rethink and their support. 5 years is a long time to spend in hospital and although sometimes i needed intense supervision and treatment i still lost a lot of my youth unnecessarily.
please go to the doctors tomorrow and plead, cry, scream for the help you need. make them listen.
best wishes, A x