World Kindness Week on November, 2017: why does the world judge?

World Kindness Week 2017. vcm_s_kf_repr_about.jpg vcm_s_kf_repr_about.jpg

why does the world judge?

People judge other people most often because they do not a good self-image of themselves.

By judging, criticizing, and bringing others down they build up their self-esteem in a false way, which does not last. Thus they must continually continue to do this.

By loving all people unconditionally, without having false attachments to them, people acquire positive self-esteem, and as a result also acquire peace of mind and happiness.

*Please Patiently read this below, from a famous book, - by a Psychologist.*

Thank You. Have a Great Week and Wkend.

*What in the world is the difference between loving a person, and being attached to them? Love is the sincere wish, for others to be happy and to be free from suffering. Having realistically realized other’s kindness, as well as their faults, Love is Always focused on the other person’s welfare. We have no ulterior intensions or motives to fulfill our own self-interests; or to fulfill our own desires, we love others, all people, simply because they exist. Attachment, on the other hand, exaggerates others’ good qualities, and makes us crave to be with them. When we’re with them, we are happy, but when we’re separated from them, we’re miserable. Attachments are always linked with expectations of what others should be, or what they should do for us. Is love, as it is understood in most societies, really love OR attachment ? Let us examine this a little more. Generally speaking, we are attracted {drawn to) people because they have qualities we value, or because they help us in some way. If we carefully observe, through introspection, our own thought processes we’ll notice that we very often look for specific qualities in others. Some of these qualities we are drawn to are qualities within our parents, or qualities which society values.

We examine someone’s looks, education, social status, financial status, and so forth. This is how Most of us decide on whether or not the person holds any true value, or not. In addition, we judge people as worthwhile according to how they relate to us. If they praise us, encourage us, help us, if they listen to what we have to say, if they make us feel secure, if they take care of us when were sick, unhappy or depressed, we consider them good, or sometimes righteous people, and these are the people we more drawn to, whom we are most likely attracted to, and the people we choose to be around with.

In all honesty, this is very biased, for we are judging them, only in terms of how they relate to us, as if we are the most important person in the world & thinking the world revolves around us! After we’ve judged certain people to be good for us, whenever we see them, it appears to us as if goodness is radiating out from within them, but as we are more mindfully aware, we realize that we have projected this goodness on to them.

Desiring to be the people who make us feel good, we become emotional yo-yo’s, when we’re with these people, we’re up, but when we’re not with them, we’re down. Furthermore, we form fixed concepts of what our relationships with these people will be, and thus have expectations of them. “When they do not live up to our expectations of them, we’re unhappy, disappointed or may even become angry. We want them to change so that they will match what we think they are. But our projections and expectations come from our own minds, not from other people. Our problems arise not because others aren’t who we thought they were, but because we mistakenly thought they were something they were not. We often use a type of Checklist also. Checklist: “I Love You IF ___________ !” This Love is Conditional and what we call love, is most often attachment. It is actually an attitude which overestimates the qualities of another person.

’Then we cling tightly to that person, thinking our peace and happiness depends on that person. We even often blame that person for our unhappiness.’ Love, on the other hand, is a very patient, calm, optimistic and relaxed attitude. We want others to be free from suffering and to be happy simply because they exist. While attachments are uncontrolled, and too emotionally sentimental, Love is Patient, powerful, and controlled(disciplined). Attachment obscures our judgment {our ability to make sound, wise decisions), and we become impatient, angry, and impartial – helping our dear ones, and those who do us no harm. Love clarifies our mind, & we access a situation by thinking of the greatest good for everyone. Attachment is based on selfishness, while love is founded on valuing, & cherishing others, even those who do not look very appealing to us. Love always looks beyond all the superficial appearances and dwells on the fact that they are just like us: they want peace of mind, happiness, and wish to avoid suffering. If we see an unattractive, or unintelligent people we most often feel repulsed, because our selfish minds want to find attractive, intelligent, and talented people. On the other hand, Love never evaluates others by theses superficial standards and looks much deeper into the person. Love recognizes that regardless of the others appearances, they’re experiences are they same as ours: they want inner mental peace, happiness, and wish to be from suffering. When we’re attached, we’re not mentally, emotionally, & spiritually free. For we overly depend on, and cling to another person, to fulfill our emotional, mental, and spiritual needs. We fear losing the person, fearing that we’d be incomplete without them.” This does Not mean that we should suppress all our emotional needs, or become aloof, and totally independent, for that too would not solve the problem. We must simply realize our unrealistic needs and slowly, gently and patiently – seek to eliminate them. If we try to suppress them, pretending they do not exist, we become insecure, anxious, or possibly depressed. In this case, we do our best to fulfill our needs, while simultaneously working gradually to subdue them. The core problem is that most of us seek to be loved, rather than to love. We yearn to be understood by others, rather than to understand them. Our sense of emotional insecurities comes from the selfish obscuring of our own minds. We develop confidence by recognizing our inner potential to become a Selfless human being, having many magnificent qualities, and then we’ll develop and have an accurate perception of ourselves, gaining self-confidence. We’ll seek to increase true unconditional love, to increase compassion, to cultivate patience, as well as generosity, right concentration and wisdom. Under the influence of attachment, we’re bound by our unstable emotional reactions to others. When they’re nice to us, we’re happy, but when they ignore us or speak sharply to us, we take it personally, and are unhappy. But pacifying attachment doesn’t mean we become hard-hearted, rather without attachments, there will be space in our hearts and minds for genuine affection and impartial love for them. And as a result, we’ll be more actively involved with them. As we learn to transform our minds & lives, through subduing our attachments, we can definitely have successful friendships, and personal relationships with others. These relationships will be richer, more meaningful because of the freedom and respect the relationships are based on. We’ll really care about the happiness and misery of all human beings equally, simply because everyone is the same inside: we all want inner peace of mind, Happiness, and to be from suffering.

However, of course, our lifestyles and interests may be a bit more compatible with some people. Our friendships and our personal relationships will be based on mutual interests, and to help other people. Having such an attitude, we’ll be much More Patient, & tolerant toward others; will remain mentally calm, having Peace of Mind and Happiness, and we’ll communicate successfully with others in life.*

5 Ways to make the world better?

5 Ways to make the world better?

1. a random act of kindness once per month (week?)... (a genuine compliment to a stranger, pay a toll for the car behind you, write a letter or make a phone call to an extraordinary employee's boss, visit a nursing home and visit with a special friend)

2. SPEAK OUT and take a stand against injustice....do not 'laugh off' or ignore dirty, sexist and racist jokes. Saying nothing is cowardly and implies your approval.

3. Before throwing away your old things (before a move or major housecleaning) take them to goodwill or to a homeless shelter to see if others could benefit from them. In my days of dumpster diving I used to find some very usable things.....a working camera, functional lamps, televisons etc. A homeless shelter would have loved these things and the extra effort could have seriously improved the quailty of somoene elses life. (and as an added bonus, the landfills are less full and you can deduct this on your taxes!)

4. Take responsibility for personal finances....prioritize your needs before your wants....Do not buy yourself a gucci or coach purse if your electric bill is two month's behind (etc)...

This kind of irresponsibility impacts others. I have no sympathy for people who purchased HUGE houses that they could not afford using 'creative' financing. In most cases a smaller house (do 3 people really need 3k square feet?) would have been the difference between forclosure and non foreclousure

5. Breed responsibly.....As an adult it should be quite clear how pregnacy happens...if you cannot afford to feed your first three kids without state assistance, it is irresponsible for you to have more children. Furthermore, the guy on crack is NOT going to be a good parent thus condeming your child to years of emotional abuse/neglect. NO one deserves this and there are 8 million jail stories of criminals who were subjected to abuse and/or neglect in their formative years.

Awesome question- I am happy to give you one of these stars!

Lisa T

How can we do a better job of teaching kindness to our kids and one another?

How can we do a better job of teaching kindness to our kids and one another?

Parents can teach their children through example (and explain their actions) that when someone does something nice for you, or helpful, that you return the favor by doing something similar in return for that person, or for someone else one day.

I remember a time where in a grocery store, a complete stranger did not have change for a shopping cart, and the line up to make change was long, so I gave her the quarter she needed, and asked her to pay it forward and help someone else she sees in that same situation. She was very grateful having two small kids with her. It is just a simple random act of kindness that can go a long way.

Find an elderly persons home in your neighborhood that needs their walkway shovelled. In our neighborhood, there was this very nice family man on the corner who use to shovel the elderly neighbours home that was between us, and then he branched out to our home, in return, I started to do the same. From that we became a team and helped each other, while helping our older neighbor.

Also on this date Wednesday, November 1, 2017...