National Family Caregiver Day 2024 is on Friday, November 1, 2024: Why do people hold nuclear family as the ideal?

Friday, November 1, 2024 is National Family Caregiver Day 2024.

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I was actually watching a documentary on National Geographic about people who participate in arrangements other than the traditional nuclear family. Here is a summary of what was said in that documentary.

Polygamy (where one man takes multiple wives) is disagreeable for 2 reasons: 1) It isn't that common even in countries where it is legal, because the man must be wealthy enough to support multiple wives and the resulting children. Few men have such wealth. He also often has to buy them separate houses, because the wives will try to kill each other as jealousy ensues and they compete for the husband's attention. 2) There is a certain population of males and females in every country. Where wealthy men can take multiple wives, for every wife they take, they are depriving some other man of a potential wife. This has been cited as the reason why some Middle Eastern country have a higher percentage of people who are willing to become suicide bombers: they have a slightly higher percentage of men who can't have families due to the allowance of polygamy.

Polyandry (where one woman takes multiple husbands) is rarely practiced because, until modern times, there was no way to tell which man was the father. And one of the men would become upset if he couldn't be sure he was getting any offspring out of the deal or not.

Single parenthood is disagreeable because one parent rarely has enough income these days to support a family (hence the welfare phenomenon), and there have been psychological studies that have shown the effect that the absence of fathers have on children (higher rates of juvenile behavioral problems).

And there's the kind of situation where the kids are raised by a group or tribe. Even in the nuclear family, this is basically what happens (aunts/uncles, grandparents, and even close friends often end up contributing to the care of the kid by donating supplies, watching it, etc.)...we just don't call it that. Also, in order for members of a tribe to be truly invested in the care of a child, they have to be either related to or very close to the parents of that child. The only case where people opt to pay for and raise other peoples' kids is if they can't have their own or they have philanthropist inclinations (in which cases they adopt). But most people will definitely want to invest their energy into their own bloodline.

Which leaves the nuclear family. Most people have no qualms with the biological mother and father combining their time and resources to raise their own kin (or, if they chose to adopt, their own adopted kin). The child has 2 incomes to be supported with, at least 2 caregivers (plus other family members in most cases), and as long as the parents are peacefully married and financially stable, this usually works out. It's just the easiest default solution.

Hope this helps.

Support for family of stroke victims?

Stroke Survivors at the American Stroke Foundation have developed "Ten Guidelines for Interacting with Stroke Survivors." A video has been created featuring stroke survivors and depicting the right and wrong way to interact. You can view this video on YouTube.

Stroke Family Warmline

The Warmline is a team of three people who answer calls from stroke survivors and their families, providing support and helpful information or just a listening ear. Although everyone at the ASA's national call center is qualified to answer questions about stroke, the Warmline team members have some particularly special experience; either they are stroke survivors themselves or have a family member who is.

Call 1-888-4-STROKE (1-888-478-7653) to reach the Warmline team.

Common Threads Pen Pals

Communicate with other stroke families through the American Stroke Association's Common Threads Pen Pals.

Stroke recovery is an ongoing process. The day-to-day challenges, frustrations and accomplishments of a survivor or caregiver can only be understood by someone in a similar position. Corresponding with others who have experienced stroke can be extremely helpful. Common Threads is a penpal network exclusively for stroke families.

Simply download, complete and fax or mail the registration form (PDF) to receive a list of other stroke family members who have had similar experiences.

Note: The registration form is a Portable Document File (PDF). To view and print it you will need the Adobe Acrobat Reader. You may download it free in either Macintosh or PC version from adobe.com.

I take care of my elderly mother and cannot go to work due to this. I need financial help to care for us both?

There isn't a specific program that is available to everyone who cares for a family member. You'll need to do some research to find out what might be available to you and your mom and for your specific situation.

One way to start would be to contact your Local Area Agency on Aging. There are providers for this agency in every U.S. state. You can meet with a caseworker to help you seek the assistance you and your mom are eligible for.

Use this website to find local contact information

Eldercare Locator

National Association of Area Agencies on Aging

Are there other family members who could help you out? Do you have any siblings who could contribute money to help you care for your mom and support yourself? Are there any other family members who could stay with your mom so you can work, at least part time? Have you considered using an adult day care program or in home caregiver for a few hours a day so that you can work? Your mother may be eligible for assistance to help care for her; use these programs so that you can earn some money.

Here are two other resources for you to look at; you aren't the only one in this situation. Educate yourself about what help is available. Reach out to other people in your area who care for family members; they can support you and are also very good sources of information for help available in your local area.

Family Caregiver Alliance

National Family Caregivers Association